Damn Lion Guard! You Scary!!

*Yep, I referenced the Family Guy joke. So, you guys don't have to* 

I want to clarify before I discuss this, I DON'T hate The Lion Guard. It's not my favorite show by any means, but I think it's cute and harmless. I'm quite neutral towards it. I also appreciate it getting The Lion King franchise back into the spotlight, as it's introduced to the new generation. And I'm honestly not bothered by its continuity errors, I don't invest myself hard enough to care. I respect other opinions on it, but some of the excessive haters kind of need to relax a bit. And while I do understand some of the major criticisms of the show, I find that some of them can be explained quite reasonably. 

1. Kion
Kion befriends a LOT of animals in the Pridelands, they look up to him and rely on his leadership skills to protect them...so it's kind of fucked up to think that he would have to eat these friends eventually! Pretty traumatic if you ask me. I know, it's like an unspoken law that the grazers understand; that they're protected from outside predators, but may be randomly chosen as a sacrifice for the royal family at any time. Being a grazer would suck. So, I imagine that this scenario would happen a lot, about every meal time, which is why Kiara and Simba are fed up with his shit. 

2. Fuli
This one kind of ties in with Kion. However, Fuli seems to be less driven by emotion than Kion is, so it likely wouldn't bother her as much. One of the main criticisms of the show is based around hunting, and how it's a natural part of the 'circle of life' that the Lion Guard claim to defend; while stopping predators from eating. I understand this one, but I do think it's being oversimplified a bit. I get a bit annoyed when they stop local predators like Ushari (the Cobra) from eating, characters like him live in the Pridelands and deserve to be able to eat. But at the same time I recognize the fact that this is a show based around morals as well as nature education, they're trying to depict the guard characters as noble characters; and ones who'll help even the smallest creature, as they want children to look up to them as role models. It's the same reason why they don't show the protagonists successfully hunting anything. It would be very morally confusing to child audiences (not to mention hypocritical) to show these heroes ripping a small animal to shreds, but also trying to defend other creatures from the same fate. The show does acknowledge that hunting is a normal part of their lives, but they can't actually show it. Even the original films didn't do that. Bugs of course are the exception here, kids don't associate with bugs as fondly as mammals. Plus, they don't give bugs identities, faces, voices or emotions. This is also why animals being 'hunted' by a protagonist; suddenly stop talking like humans and grunt like the animals they are. Simba's Pride did this too. The grazer animals were all voicing their judgement and singing their disapproval towards Kovu when he was exiled, but earlier when Kiara tried to hunt some Antelope...suddenly they couldn't talk. 

Another criticism is that the guard keeps kicking out other predators and 'demonizing' them. This can be logically explained. First of all, territory. All members of the guard (except Egrets) are territorial creatures, especially lions. The show is well demonstrating how lions react to outside predators invading their land. Secondly, the Pridelands is clearly a delicate ecosystem with just the right amount of predators to balance out the grazers and keep the land thriving. We saw in the first film what happened when a new species of predator (hyenas) were properly introduced into the Pridelands, everything was destroyed. The drought nearly killed everyone, including the Hyenas. The show has mentioned which predators are foreign to the land and shouldn't be introduced, including: Leopards, Jackals and obviously Hyenas. There is a real life phenomenon where if you introduce or remove a predator from a populated land, it can have HUGE consequences on the ecosystem itself. (watch this for more info on that: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmlRs_… ) The guard isn't 'evil' or 'racist' (as I've heard some people say) for kicking them out, it's more necessary than personal. Even if their attitude towards the hyenas makes it seem more personal (their personalities clash a lot which doesn't help the matter). But no doubt the guard have been told over and over again what happened to their home and family when Hyenas originally took over the land. They learned from history and refuse to let any new predator in, reproduce and destroy the land again.
People also keep saying that Janja is just desperate because he's starving, and the guard should sympathize with him and cater to his needs...no, why should they? He's just greedy. He constantly talks/sings about taking over the land and eating EVERYTHING. Jasiri even said in her debut episode "I know Janja's clan is greedy, and it's more than their share.." If she and her family can live in the outlands without resorting to theft and land invading, then there's clearly enough food to live on there. Also considering the fact that ReiRei and her large family, plus (supposedly) the Outsiders live there too and NONE of them are even ill from starvation, there has to be a sustainable food source. Kion and his team have every right to kick them out.
Think about it this way, if three arrogant and potentially dangerous teenagers from a neighboring town; keep breaking into your house and trying to eat all your food with the excuse that they're 'hungry' and therefore entitled to it, and also threaten to invite all their friends to essentially destroy your home; and ensure you, your own family and the entire neighborhood starves...you wouldn't be too kind about that would you? You would just want them out of your damn house, right? So why criticize the Lion Guard for defending their land against these assholes?! Please stop giving excuses to a character/s that doesn't deserve any. It's not their problem if the hyenas aren't happy where they live. Janja and his clan could potentially move somewhere else if it's 'so unbearable', but they choose to stay and be a nuisance instead. They create their own problems. In the real world, Simba would have killed them by now.

3. Bunga
Honey Badgers are awesome. Real Honey Badgers that is. The show was right to assign this animal as the Guard's 'bravest'! However, these creatures are NOT friendly. They're known to rip the testicles off of animals that try and threaten it (lions mostly ) So, when Ushari bit Bunga on the ass, I almost expected him to rip the Cobra in half like Honey Badgers actually do to snakes, but then I remembered its a show aimed at little kids. They were also correct when they showed that HB's are immune to snake bites, but failed to acknowledge that they still feel the effects of the venom and often get sick, they just don't die from it (though I imagine a young HB would). If you want to see the greatest nature video based around Honey Badgers, then look no further (if you've seen it, you already know which one I'm talking about) : www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHM…

4. Beshte
Hippos are fucking scary. I'm sorry if this is news to anyone, but Hippos are NOT gentle giants! Don't get me wrong, I wish no harm on Hippos, I respect them. But they are definitely on my list (alongside sharks) of animals I NEVER want to encounter in the wild. With 1,400 kilos (9,900 Ibs) of weight with the strength to match and tusks that are sharp and bulletproof, these mammals can halve you as if you were a stick of butter! And have been responsible for more deaths in Africa than any other animal, including snakes and lions! I have been partially traumatized on the topic of these giants; after I watched a documentary called 'The Dark Side of Hippos' when I was quite young. Essentially, a tourist group got attacked by a rogue Hippo while on safari, it capsized their canoe, mauled their tour guide to death, and one man lost his legs and detailed the savagery quite graphically. Hippos are some of the most unpredictable and territorial of all creatures, and have even been documented killing crocodiles just for occupying the same space as them. Which is why I raised an eyebrow a bit when Beshte was too afraid to face the crocodiles with Mtoto. Crocodiles give Hippos a wide berth for a reason!
On a side note, I know Beshte's tusks protrude from the top of his jaw not the bottom, but I placed them there for more dramatic effect.

To conclude, this illustrates the dark reality of The Lion Guard premise that we'll never get to see. Why?...because its a show on Disney JUNIOR! With such macabre and realistic shows like 'Sofia The First' and 'Mickey Mouse Clubhouse'. Please keep this in mind if you decide to complain that the series isn't dark enough for you. This show is doing the best it can with the (somewhat) flawed premise it has and the restrictions of its target audience and network. They're not allowed to just show whatever they want, there are guidelines. So give it a little break, guys. Let the kids enjoy their show and their innocence towards the natural world, they can learn the hard truths later.

*Sorry to Ono fans that I didn't include him. Nothing personal to the character. It's just that Egrets aren't that notable in any sense, honestly.*

The Lion Guard (c) Disney 
*Light screencap references were used*